Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, so for this special addition of Kyle’s Weekly Travel Guide, I am going to take you to a romantic location to take your loved one to share a special trip in a special city.
SONK
Fuck Valentine’s Day. This week is going to be especially gritty. I am going to give a guide to go to a place where you can go with your boys or your gals, drink heavily, and party in an international crowd. Located in the Aegean Sea, this week will cover the Island of the Winds:
Mykonos, Greece
Things to Do
This week’s guide is going to be party heavy, obviously. However, there are some cool things you can do in Mykonos outside of partying. I mean, you’re not gonna be going full throttle the whole time, right?
ATVs
The primary tourist mode of transportation in Mykonos is the ATV. Renting these bad boys is a great way to get around the island and explore. Two snippets of advice before renting: First, Greeks are batshit crazy drivers, so don’t drive drunk, be aware of your surroundings, and follow the rules of the road. Second, parking in Mykonos SUCKS. If going into town, I would advise parking on the outskirts and walking in. Don’t worry, no one will steal your ATV.
Paradise Beach
Paradise Beach is the most popular beach in Mykonos, and for good reason. This area is beautiful, with great views of the Aegean and littered with clubs, bars, and restaurants.
If you go to a beach club, daybeds are fairly inexpensive (depending on what month you go), and they are very worth it to escape that scorching Greek sun. Make sure to get some goggles to search for underwater treasures.
Panagia Paraportiani
If you practice Orthodoxy, like visiting churches, or feel like you need some religion to clean off yesterday’s sins, then Panagia Paraportiani is your place.
This 17th century church is found near the neighborhood of Little Venice and is a gorgeous location with a beautiful seaside backdrop. Please respect the church by taking off your hat and sunglasses and dressing modestly.
“Downtown” Mykonos
This place is an absolute ZOO. I miss this town almost every day of my life. During the day, the maze of these streets is enchanting with white painted buildings and flowers accenting every corridor and corner. Here, you can find shops, restaurants and bars, as well as cool locations like Little Venice and Windmills that are perfect for pictures.
Later on, when it is dusk, this picturesque town turns into a dirty, heinous, techno fuckshack that will change your opinion of nightlife forever. But I will go deeper on that later in the guide.
Platis Gialos Beach
One of my biggest regrets, and now my reason to return to Mykonos, is not trying out more beaches. Platis Gialos Beach is the favorite beach on the island for many. The town next to the beach hosts many bars and restaurants, so one could spend an entire day here and have all of their needs met.
Restaurants
For a small island, the food on Mykonos is plentiful and delightful. Although, all you will really need is a good gyro every few hours. Gyros pork or gyros chicken is the solution for lasting through a long night or fighting a hangover. You can find gyros in just about every corner in Mykonos.
Captain’s
If you want reasonably priced seafood, Captain’s is your place. I had a grilled octopus on a bed of hummus and it hit the spot. It is located on the north side of the main town in Mykonos, right on the shore of the small bay overlooking the port. I highly recommend Captain’s.
Leonidas
It’s 4am.
You’ve been partying for 12 hours straight and all you want is a drunk gyros pork to wash down with a crisp Mythos brew. Leonidas is the beacon that will satiate all of your drunk desires. When I tell you I have never had a better Gyro, I am telling you the truth from my soul. I could get this place tattooed on me.
Bonus: The stray cats that wander around the gyro shack are awesome (there are so many stray cats in Mykonos it’s crazy).
Efisia Greek Fine Dining
I included Efisia because it is the #1 ranked restaurant in Mykonos. If you want a nice, high end dinner, then come here.
I Frati Mykonos
I Frati is a great brunch spot. This Italian restaurant has a great brunch menu, and has boozy options if you want to start your day with a drunk brunch to kick off the festivities.
Nightlife
Oh baby. There is a reason that most people know Mykonos as a premier global party destination. During the day, you can drink at cocktail bars, beach clubs, and bars, and at night, you can drink and do drugs (not advocating just saying) at the same bars, just with a nightlife switch.
I do not think I have had a bender like the one I had in Mykonos; you will stay up until 4, 5, 6 a.m. every night. There is a reason people call it No Sleep Mykonos. Oh, and also, cigs inside.
Skandinavian Bar
Skandinavian Bar & Disco was my favorite spot in Mykonos. First, ensure that you make friends with the bar staff, your life here will be much easier. It is quite simple to make friends with them, just tip them. Look for Julia and Kostas, and they will hook you up heavy.
Downstairs features two bars which are great for conversation, and upstairs is a club room featuring steps for an elevated surface and an elevated stripper pole. The music was also phenomenal, but do not go two days in a row; the DJs loop the same tracks.
Scarpa
Scarpa is another place that I would tattoo on my body. Traditionally a cocktail bar, the drinks served here are phenomenal. It is also located right on the sea, so you can enjoy the sunset while sipping on a wonderful drink.
When the sun sets, the techno comes out to play. The small interior turns into a tiny dance floor, and every night, a DJ comes out and plays some of the best techno you will hear.
Tropicana Beach Club
Located on Paradise Beach, Tropicana Beach Club is about as traditional a club as you can get in Mykonos. Big room house, expensive drinks, bottle service, and flashing lights. Tons of fun. However, the staff is WHACK. The male workers will creep on women, so go with a large group. Also, do not take the free shots unless you want to drink molly water. Or do drink it. I’m not your dad.
Paradise Beach Club
My group went to Mykonos when Paradise Beach Club was closed. However, we heard that it is the best place to go in Mykonos. I will have to go back to see this place in its full grandeur.
VOID
Yet another place in Mykonos that was closed while I was there. This is the biggest music hall in Mykonos, and where most visiting, big name DJs play when they come to the island. It looks like a lot of fun.
Katerina’s
Do you want ABBA? Do you like to dance to 80’s music? Katerina’s is your place. The music here is phenomenal, the drinks are sublime, and the vibes? High. Here you will find middle aged Europeans dancing like nobody’s watching.
Guess what Helga? I was watching, and I loved it.
180 Degrees Sunset Bar
180 is the one bar that was open that we heard great things about but never visited. This bar is the place in Mykonos to watch the sunset while sipping a cocktail.
The Streets
If you have ever been to New Orleans, you know how fun it can be to wander the streets with a drink in your hand. Now imagine if the French Quarter was safe, with six foot wide cobblestone streets and an absolute maze to navigate. That’s Mykonos. So grab a Mythos or Fix, and wander the streets. You will see some shit or discover things that you did not plan on discovering.
Safety and Don’ts
Mykonos is a very safe place. However, those who look for trouble can get into trouble. Drugs count as trouble, as scams, bad product, etc., can occur.
Prices for hotels, food, and drinks will vary depending on when you go. This is a tourist island, so during the peak season (June and July), prices WILL triple. I recommend going in May or August, when the island is still busy and fun, but the prices are more reasonable.
During peak season, the price of everything is not the only concern. Wait times for bars and restaurants, large crowds, and busy transportation are all concerns for going when everyone else does.
As for don’ts, all I need to say is don’t be stupid. Don’t take drinks from strangers, don’t drink and drive, and don’t flash large amounts of money.
Getting Around
Like I mentioned before, the best way to get around Mykonos is by ATV. You can also rent mopeds, and most hotels will have car services. If staying downtown, the city is very walkable, with parts of the city only allowing pedestrian movement.
Getting to Mykonos is quite simple. Flights from Athens are frequent, and most large European airports will have direct flights to Mykonos. Additionally, if coming from Athens or another Greek Island, large jet boats are a cheap option to get to the island. The travel time from Athens is around 2 hours, and getting there from Santorini can take 2-3 hours as well. The trip is gorgeous though and seasickness is not an issue (I get seasick easily and I was fine on the jet boats).
Language
The primary language on Mykonos is Greek; however, most people will speak English.
Yes— Nai
No— Ochi
Beer— Byra
Cheers— Yamas
Thank You— Efcharistó
Hello— Geiá sou
Bye— Antío
Please— sas parakaloúme